The Blank White Cards are Nick Douglas and Jared Horney. Every weekday we post a new video. Follow us at this blog or on Vimeo or YouTube.Tumblr (3.0; @blankwhitecards)http://theblankwhitecards.com/<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1628192&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1628192&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1628192&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Never get involved in a land war in Latin America either.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/47956539http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/47956539Fri, 29 Aug 2008 15:51:56 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1568546&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1568546&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1568546&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Jared here. A club mix. With dancing women over it. I’d sue the bastards, but damned if it doesn’t somehow feel truer than my original acoustic version.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/46745620http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/46745620Wed, 20 Aug 2008 17:45:32 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1554456&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1554456&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1554456&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Jared here. I figured out what a hypothetical pastry expense is, and no I won’t tell you because it’s like Tubgirl to the factor of 2 Girls One Cup times Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Oh god, if I say that does that mean we’re sponsored by them now? I hope not. Unless they pay as much as the price of a fleet of Smart Cars. WHY DID HE GET US FIVE SMART CARS?</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/46491522http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/46491522Mon, 18 Aug 2008 22:44:51 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1519913&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1519913&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1519913&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Having shut him up, I resumed the Sudoku. Many fine Sudoku have been completed in a cafe. People like to say Sudoku. Say it with me. Sudoku. Sudoku. Roll it around until it sounds like a sushi roll. Like a fish. I’ll have the Sudoku. One Sudoku Nigiri. It’s not racist, it’s Japanese.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/45845618http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/45845618Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:10:23 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1492670&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1492670&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1492670&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>The strip club does have a buffet, but we figured we shouldn’t tempt fate, since we’d already cheated the odds on hepatitis.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/45244810http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/45244810Fri, 08 Aug 2008 16:40:43 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1472532&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1472532&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1472532&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Oh look! It is as if Digg itself sponsored this video and not as if we stole a wallpaper image from a DeviantArt site! Are we suggesting that you, precious viewer, submit this video to Digg.com and thereby ruin the show with an influx of irony-deficient webtards? Never! We’d never buy cheap fleeting attention at the expense of our — Jesus Christ, that’s our TOTAL view count? That’s barely even a number. DIGG THIS CLIP YOU BASTARD PEOPLE.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/44834408http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/44834408Tue, 05 Aug 2008 14:24:56 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1466398&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1466398&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1466398&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>I just did MOMA in twenty minutes. Now I’m off to see a Philip Glass concert at 32x speed before my daily session of yoga-in-a-jiffy.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/44709206http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/44709206Mon, 04 Aug 2008 16:24:21 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1454748&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1454748&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1454748&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>How callous was my heart before<br/> I met an angel named Lenore<br/> Actually she’s named Shontay<br/> She’s pretty hot stuff either way.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/44483465http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/44483465Sat, 02 Aug 2008 16:52:42 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1444858&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1444858&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1444858&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Gee, Nick, thanks for posting this! No, honestly. Seeeeeriously. But seriously. Not. Not not. I was kidding. About “Not.” About it being true. PSYCH</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/44267167http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/44267167Thu, 31 Jul 2008 19:03:12 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1436998&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1436998&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1436998&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Nick gained plenty of executive experience as assistant manager at a now-closed Starbucks.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/44104914http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/44104914Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:07:02 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1430228&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1430228&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1430228&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Jared here. I’ll say it again: We just can’t wonder any more. God? Dead. Love? Pheromones. The only remaining mystery is Hannah Montana.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43961839http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43961839Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:04:18 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1423006&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1423006&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1423006&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>When it’s time to repopulate the world, I’m not taking my chances.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43823631http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43823631Mon, 28 Jul 2008 11:43:17 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1407137&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1407137&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1407137&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Nick here. I also replaced my sleep with placebo sleep: I think I’m dreaming but I’m really just on a sugar pill. And acid.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43535736http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43535736Fri, 25 Jul 2008 14:27:32 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1402062&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1402062&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1402062&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Everyone knows about Washington’s false teeth, but few know about his love for David Caruso. Ha ha, a historical figure is being inappropriate!</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43431367http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43431367Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:20:10 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1394699&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1394699&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1394699&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Of course, since Nick has the Capgras delusion, he thinks all the people he’s only seen once before have been replaced by actors whom he’s never seen again.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43284688http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43284688Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:23:29 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1389244&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1389244&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1389244&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Jared here. I really liked that cat, I think. Unless it was a small dog.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43164583http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43164583Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:39:33 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1381930&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1381930&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1381930&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>I suppose it’s better than the time he told me he’d learned Chinese.</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43042567http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/43042567Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:52:04 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1365286&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1365286&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1365286&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Nick here. My next project is a thousand finger-play fortune tellers. I’m not wishing for anything, I just have a grade school I want to bend to my will. Anyone have a collection of eight thousand hypnotic triggers?</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/42740432http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/42740432Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:49:11 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1360595&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1360595&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1360595&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>Jared here with a peek at this sketch’s deleted scenes:</p> <p>“His grave was covered in FLOURS!”<br/> “Gramps died just like my baNANA!”<br/> “The funeral took place on a SUNDAE!”</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/42644401http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/42644401Thu, 17 Jul 2008 19:50:17 -0400<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300" data="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1353056&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF"><param name="quality" value="best" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="scale" value="showAll" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1353056&server=vimeo.com&fullscreen=1&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF" /><embed src="http://www.vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1353056&server=www.vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00ADEF&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>But last time it was so FUN</p>http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/42499043http://theblankwhitecards.com/post/42499043Wed, 16 Jul 2008 16:08:36 -0400